i guess its true nothing changes than! :D

im bloody lost
...

keep telling yourself
when things sucks
sooner or later they will get better
:D

dear blog
i had missed you!

my life i stupid right now
i am stupid right now
oh wait when was i ever not stupid?

oh man the bloody dishes keep calling me
damn pekcek ready
bluek

you make me frown everyday
i am gonna start getting wrinkles and pimples
at the rate im going
and e3ven worse
you annoy me so much
other people assume im just a
permanent first class bitch
or assume i am annoyed at everyone
they did say one cannot control how they feel
i think at the moment avoiding everyone is my best move
i cannot decide for myself
and im being super undecisive
other people affect my opinions a hell lot
for once i want it to be what i want it to be
not what i let it be because thats what other people want it to be
do i sound retarded?
i guess so
oh wells
being a retard makes me less unhappy

nowadays i wear pajamas in the day time
i step out of my door mostly to go down to the shop
or to hang or unhang the laundry
sad, i know
too bad im not affected
its not anything new anyways

today i felt bad towards kak yati
i had backed out on a promise
but what was i suppose to do?
circumstances or rather the people around me
decide for me
a no means no
try as many times as you want
its still a know
where this is concerned
i also owe jane clara hazirah jennifer yati an apology
im sorry

yesterday weisheng say he going australia
so now my partner is not here for me to annoy
so instead dear blog i tell you
the difference being over here i carn be blunt or too obvious
what if people read and feel hurt
not a nice thing to do
but hey at least its better than not saying anything

yesterday i discovered my phone, which i had used for more than a year
has internet
wow

i still want to go on but now im at a loss
elyn just came back
cos i just got her message

oh well now i should go clear up the dishes
that someone dont want to eat
after making me prepare :(

dont make it more difficult
please

facing the real world
scary aint it

i need an outlet
and it does not help i cannot find it here
im afraid of offending
i dont want to hurt
i fear being mean

oh man
i hate coming across crossroads
i am indecisive and confused
i am naive and maybe a little bit dumb
i ecognise my flaws
still i dnot know how to make it work for me
i am slow and i am a world class klutz

THANK GOD YOU ARE A PART OF MY LIFE

ouch! how much you break my heart

studying gets to me
:(

its going on and off
so bad i feel like i am going to die
this morning it was so bad i honestly thought
i won't mkae it pass the day
i don't dare to have it checked
what if something is seriously wrong?
i know i won't dare to face it
for now i need to make myself strong
strong enough for promos
after that i will take a back seat
and if i have eough guts
i will face up to this issues
but only after i settle all the other problems
that does not effect only me
so anyways she went crazy again today
dunno what's wrong with her
i swear
urgh
i could do without this hassle really
im tired enough as it is

im confused abt my future
all over again
it happens everytime
i start to think i am sure this is what i want
then i get confused alll over again
damn it
i have too much options
so suffocating i feel like i have no options

miss ya! :D

my first day heels are bloody sexy!
i missed school for two days
sucks!
seems liken shes going crazy eh
haha!
today for no reason
she decided the world is evil
and she is the world's most hurt victim
lol?
oh seems like we got into shooting finals in first position
nice

i like it when you smile

this is not my story
this is the story of my friend
and lets not name her to maintain her privacy
shall we?

everything's upside down
lets see so she packed her bag
and walked out
oh and who provoked her?
now that is something we have to clarifyer
cos it seems to me like some snivelling bitch
in her damn brain told her to walk away
dat leaves three of them
lets refer to them as A B and C shall we?
so it seems to a and b that its c's fault
and den when dey need help
shes too busy with her school books
and her goddamn homework
and whilst they dont need her
she immersed herself in her korean dramas
now tell me how is that wrong?
watching dramas at night before goingto bed?
oh dear
so c is really tired
shes been going at it the past week
shes tired
dont you get it shes tired
it seems to her like d(oh who earlier on packed her bags)
like d is screwed up
she does nothing accept talk on the phone
and chat online with the
hordes of boyfriends that she keeps in her pocket
than you tell her to stop it and maybe get some studying done
she goes crazy
destroys the household and packs her bag
talk about annoying
so c has to start all over again
after all that effort and study sacrifices she put in the past week
shes back to square one
she wants so much to sit down and cry
doesnt anyone get it?
she does not wish to be a disappointment
especially not a second time
it will hurt too much
she wonders why her heart aches so much
she used to be really strong
nothing, nothing makes her falter
now it getting hard to even keep that smile on her face
(seems to me like hurting pretty badly)
she watches dramas to keep her happy
seeing that at the end happiness comes around
however big the trouble makes her happy
it puts her mind off things
so the other day b said to c
we have signed u to make sure u work dring ur holidays
now c is horrified
she thinks that shes already doing all she can
the weight on her shoulders is more than she can take
she wants someone to take her somewhre she can scream
scream and make it all go away
she misses the feeling of having someone by her side
despite the fact that she maintained
that all this are unnecessary in her life
she finds herself missing it
at least then she has someone to lean on
someone who can make her forget all her troubles
who makes it better just by being there
well seems like she lost all her confidence
all her exuberance
sorry guys, you lost your butterfly, your firefly
i cannot shine anymore
someone said to me if you think you are than you are
and she tinks she is
i tink im pathetic
she cannot stop herself however hard she try
i want to be stronger
cos when i break down everyting breaks
being a pillar is no easy job
not easy not at all easy

there. then end
the story of my friend
she feels better after she let it out
only it would be nicer to say all this to someone who can reply
:(

damn it! blogger sucks again!
ahaha
life sucks!
baking rocks!
cooking is fun
painting kicks butt!
:D
woops
where does study go in the list?
oh well

i love shopping!
i really do!!
especially when i am not the one paying for it!
:D
happy happy girl!

yeay i love uploading photos!!!

SHOOTING PRELIMS
FADZ!














LOVE FOOD BABIES!
RANDOM T03 MOMENT






T03 BREAKFAST

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM

yeah so i am goingto talk about things that make me happy
woah!! long list!!
i love my tedddy bears
and my post its
and my spongebob bolster and my many many bags
(ooh ohh!! i gave away like 30 plus plus bags yest! :D)
and i love my chipmunk cup and soup bowl
and i loveeee my hair bands hair ties hair clips!
cos playing with my hair makes me happy
(oh! i am not being out of point! things i love make me happy!)
i love my taiwanese korean and jap dramas
i love bollywood!
i tink hollywood rocks!
well basically i love television and theatres and everything that comes with it
including popcorn
i love chicken baked rice!
i love pastamania's creamy chicken with languini!
i love school
and i love econs!
i love my shampoo!
:D
and i lvoe my bed!
(oh did i tell you?! my room is home!)
i love boom boom rocking music!
cos i love jumping up and down to it!
i think salsa is beautiful!
and i love doing it!
(it makes me feel good!)
i like looking at photos
OHO!! AND GOSSSIPPPPING MAKES ME HAPPY!
tampines makes me happy!
arcades and food
my stickers make me happy
my posters make me happy
(who cares if they're damn lame!)
my phone makes me happy
and radio makes me happy
i love my shades and my fan
i love ice cream at its best
coke rocks! and so does bandung and soya bean!
I LOVE CHICKEN RICE!! IT MAKES ME SUPPPPERRRRR HAPPY!
(ask maha or ratnam or prem or jas or marcus!)
i love karaoke-ing!
(ahaha!)
i love going out
i love horsing around
i tink getting into trouble is a hell lot of fun
more den uploading photos,
i love taking photos!
(ask anyone!)
i love elyn's house! :D
i love cartoons!
(i tink captain planet rocks!)
i love shopping
i love shoes!
i love buying bags and clothes
i love shoes!!!!
i li=ove charles-n-keith rachel-g mondo dmk
but i love love salvatore ferragamo! (ooh the red bow 4 inch heels!)
(just wait! when i am older i will own at least ten of them!)
i love blogging
it makes me happy
i love reading!
as long as they are not mind stimulating
(i am secretly intelligent you see!)
i love balloons and pink
i love pink balloons
i love my multi coloured pens
and i love my notebooks
im happy when it rains or when the cold wind blows
im happy when i see stars
im happy when there's lightning and thunder
(woah!!) this is a long long long list!

i love t03
i love my ig
i love 4n
i love 2n
i love aries
i love bravo
oh! i miss bubu!!!
i miss my primary school frens!
they make me happy
i love cedar!
im happy in cj!
i love my random friends
i love my gossiping buddies!
i love click five and seven up
i love everyone around us
i love lessons with my class
i love my classmates
clara darren elyn eugene fangqi huda huiwen
jane joyce maha marcus monica nigel quinten
rashi sabby saeful tanjuen weisheng yiusi yzelman
makes me happy and keep lesson intersting!
i love geog lecture!
i love mr ravi's lessons!
i love miss lim and her pe lessons
i love recess
i love kaya and cheese toast
i love the grandstand
i love mcs cikgu yati and everyone in it!
i love npcc and the area!!
i love my fellow CIs
i love all the people around me!
i really do!
i love my cousins who are always there for me
and i love kak izan abang adil kak mas kak syikin kak fida abang mamat kak yaya abang yan cos they're lovely


i think being super ficial is awesome!
yeayness

i am going to the beach tomorrow to drink up
the sea to stop sea levels from rising
:D
i love the basketball court
:D
theres a helll lot more!! :D

somebody tell me why it hurts so much?

i had fun today!!!
yeay!
happy purchases
i am broke now!
:D
shit i owe clara koh ten bucks!
haha!
i happy for clara koh!
:D
i happy for shazreen banu!!!
:D
hahahahhahaha
i love my new shoes!!!!
lovely high heels!
:D
woops now i need to go shop for clothes
that looks good with all my new shoes!
:D
yeay!
more shopping!
oh and i can shop for shoes that look good with my new dresses
oh of course!
handbags and slings and totes to carry off the whole look!!
i am definitely hapy
DID I TELL YOU I LOVEEEEE SHOPPING???
damn

hahahaha! i sound like a bimbo!
NICE!
i like!

i always knew you don't care
but ive finally stop hoping
that some day you will

damn it!

love food and babies was nice
shoting was interesting
studying was epic
:D

you hate me
i know!
:D
i wont't return you the favour
i am sorry
i happen to owe my existence to you
:D

woah
it feels lonely doesnt it?

lessons tomorrow
sad

i finally start studying properly for promos
kambate!
bashyaa!!!

oh did i tell you?
i feel extremely breathless when i am with you
your presence suffocates me
but there is not much i can do now is there?
:( sad

i want so much to tell you to go away
to tell you you're expecting too much
to tell you i give up
to ell you what i want
but you don't listen now do you?
sad

oh wells

live with it

one has to learn to live with it
(i am still ursula)
i still hate woen in love
but i am starting to see how it really is a beautiful piece of writing
yeay mr pang!

population geog is a hell lot to study
and we havent even started on lithospheric processes
or globalisation
urgh
haha!

ms baptist is right
i hould focu on thos im weak at
yeah so i need to improve on my stronger ones
but whats the use of improving if my weak subject at the end of the day
don't make the cut
it won't help
how many As i get if i get even one U
not that i will get many As

if i get one i am thankful!
if i dun get one i will be very angry at myself though
sad

pathetic
thats the word to describe you
you're pathetic
get a life

its not nice
being mean to others
without having tried to be nice
i will stand up for her all the way
so you go get a life

i bet your life story was not very clean either
people make mistakes bitch
get over it move on

oh wells i am sleepy now

i am 18 today
lalalalala

yesterday night before i sleep
i prayed God will make today lovely
:D

i loved alll my presents!
though almost everything is pink!
hahaha
lovely

i wish that someone would take me for a ride
at three am in the morning
so i can feel the rush of the wind in my face

i wish that i can ride 10 000 roller coaster rides
in one day because i have the whole park to myself

i wish that i get to try bungee jumping
or say sky diving from 10 000 miles above the ground

i wish i can go to the great barrier reef
and watch corals and fishes live


:D

ok so farewell was rocking!
i cannot put my thoughts in words ever!
haha oh well mario hanif hazmi ridzal!
the four of u haf tortured my mcs life the past two years
im really gonna miss you guys!!!! :D
thank you!


yea so me and weisheng are in trouble
for passing post-its during econs test
i am abit scared cos u noe mrtay soooo haf stgh against me
but oh wells wats done cannot be undone manx!


yeay!
fun-raising cum gathering tmr!!!
i excited! :D :D

you're insensitive
i swear!
:D

this is frraking awesome!
again we cannot uload photos!!!
damn sad manx!!!!
ahahahhahah
i need to get rid of this bloody virus i swear!
tralalalalal

the world is a lovely place
blogger still sucks

DAMN YOU BITCH

I KNOW YOU WISH I DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH
IN YOUR EVERY WAKING MOMENT

I AM ONLY GOING DOWN WHEN I CAN TAKE YOU WITH ME

well then i think i am a bloody coward
cos i will never never try to take you down
i dont want to see it cause hrt to those who are linked to you and i
it ll hurt too much

damn it
it already does

how i wish i have a bloody remote control
den i can press pause
stop time
take a break
andcry until i feel strong again

gosh woman
what are you?
pathetic?
get a grip
get a bloody grip damn it

breaking down does not make it easier
it doesnt
it doesnt

i want to be a cartoon
you know the bird that can run real fast
road runner
meepmeep
life will be so much easier

sometimes i think its not my damn fault

but then how can that be right

to be treated like a loser
you have to first act like one
right?

right?