I Will Scream and I Will Do It Silently

2012-01-20T20:44:00.000+08:00

More than all the small things <3

2011-12-24T22:20:00.001+08:00

Today Shazreen was
annoyed
irritated
happy
disappointed
sad
confused
excited
heartbroken

and I thought I grew up....

2011-12-20T15:47:00.003+08:00

You've Become Precious Memories

2011-12-20T15:44:00.000+08:00

You Piss Me Off

2011-10-22T23:41:00.003+08:00

i dunno
i dun wanna be pushed over but i carn stad up for myself

2011-10-22T23:41:00.001+08:00

i dunno
i dun wanna be pushed over but i carn stad up for myself

2011-08-24T02:18:00.001+08:00

I'm Still only 17

2011-08-03T14:13:00.002+08:00

bout of confusion
nothing new so why does it still hurts?
i'm not strong for long
:(

2011-07-24T23:33:00.002+08:00

Maybe there's something wrong with us
but who cares
Co we're happy like that

2011-07-24T23:33:00.001+08:00

Maybe there's something wrong with us
but who cares
Co we're happy like that

2011-07-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

Maybe there's something wrong with us
but who cares
Co we're happy like that

2011-07-22T01:10:00.001+08:00

Why Is It All So Difficult?

2011-07-17T02:09:00.001+08:00

Roller Coasters Are Scaary
But Then Again They're Loads Of Fun
You're Like That To Me :)

2011-07-08T00:57:00.001+08:00

Shazreen is Stressed :(

2011-06-26T16:38:00.003+08:00

Of Importance To Me

2011-06-24T01:02:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i feel Like whatever i say
You carn hear
Sometimes im glad you're here

2011-06-22T02:57:00.001+08:00

2011-06-22T02:56:00.001+08:00

Im a happy girl i think
I appreciate all of you
:)

2011-06-17T01:13:00.001+08:00

I'm Not Like That
Really

2011-06-17T01:13:00.000+08:00

I'm Not Like That
Really

2011-06-13T21:21:00.002+08:00

times aren't so easy
i wish you would understand
and not hold it against me
i'm trying
i promise
it'll be nice if you
could be more supportive

It's not my fault your life is not perfect
just like it's not your fault my life is inperfect

2011-06-13T00:10:00.001+08:00

What Is Me? :(

2011-06-07T21:32:00.002+08:00

So What If You're Confused

2011-05-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

Yeap
You're A Fool :D

2011-05-30T18:37:00.002+08:00

I swear its not always about doing well.

2011-05-24T21:40:00.002+08:00

2011-05-24T21:39:00.001+08:00

Because I Am A Happy Girl

2011-05-24T21:30:00.001+08:00

2011-05-24T00:37:00.000+08:00

2011-05-24T00:29:00.000+08:00

2011-05-21T22:14:00.001+08:00

Oh My Gosh!
Life Is Exciting.
I Swear

2011-05-20T00:25:00.001+08:00

Because Words Cuts Deeper

2011-05-13T01:36:00.000+08:00

You should try and be the one understanding sometimes

2011-05-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

Thought You Will Always Be MINE

Ouch you break my heart...

2011-05-11T23:48:00.000+08:00

I know you want me
I made it obvious that I want you too
So put it on me
Let's remove the space between me and you
Now rock your body
Damn I like the way that you move
So give it to me
Cause I already know what you wanna do

Here's the situation
Been to every nation
Nobody’s ever made me feel the way that you do
You know my motivation
Give in my reputation
Please excuse I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm loving you
Oh you know
That tonight I'm loving you
Oh you know
That tonight I'm loving you

You’re so damn pretty
If I had a type than baby it’d be you
I know your ready
If I never lied, than baby you’d be the truth

Here’s the situation
Been to every nation
Nobody’s ever made me feel the way that you do
You know my motivation
Given my reputation
Please excuse I don’t mean to be rude

SERIOUSLY NO ONE MAKES ME FEEL THE WAY YOU DO

2011-05-08T23:35:00.002+08:00

It does not feel very nice.
I am all insecurities and confusion.

Sometimes I feel like hiding somewhere safe
But then again my somewhere safe does not exist

How nice i must be to just snuggle up to mummy
And have her hold me till I stop crying.

2011-05-08T14:29:00.000+08:00

2011-04-16T19:22:00.001+08:00

Life Isn't Easy
A Perfect Example Of Who I Don't Want To Be

2011-04-11T15:23:00.001+08:00

Your words
Its Pernicious

2011-04-11T15:22:00.000+08:00

We are pretty simpatico aren't we?
:D
You make me happy!

2011-04-11T15:11:00.003+08:00

I'm afraid of making wrong choices
Life Is Scary Isn't It?
:D

And since when was Facebook so difficult?
Poor Teuk Teuk Banu is Struggling

How Evil are you?
tsk tsk
Time to grow up Sugar
Plus hurting people like that,
What kind of Satisfaction do you derive?
People may end up abhorring you
Than life would be exacting.
Sad Isnt It?

I wanna save Photos! :(

Oh and Hello dear Blog
Long time no seeeeee

2011-02-25T02:56:00.001+08:00

Dear blog
Missed ya!

So you're mean, and you pray i break down
Well i don't care!
Heh

You're damn cute please
Is it even legal?
Being cute like that...

2010-10-08T11:59:00.001+08:00

I missed YA! hahha!!!

2010-09-08T11:55:00.001+08:00

When Life Confuse You, Confuse It Back. heh
i wanna blog i have no idea what to talk about . oh please let there be tickets! :(

2010-07-26T10:00:00.001+08:00

Talk About Cruelty.
tsk tsk tsk
What is the world coming to!

lol

Oh My Gosh.
I'm slowly attaining equilibrium
Beams

2010-07-23T14:38:00.001+08:00

A Bit Confused
Uber Lost
Loads Of Fun

2010-07-16T20:37:00.002+08:00

I think I'm confused.
Bless my poor soul.

Questions that borders on interrrogations make me awkward.
I mean Please, What Is It To You?
Its not like you're my family or my friend.

I have become a slow typer.
Due to the lack of computer time.
Weird though, as my time on the computer decreases steadily,
My time on Facebook seems to be steadily increasing.
Shows the lack of things to do as i engage myself to the computer.
Again, Bless my poor soul.

Life is Sad.
I don't even feel bad imposing on Mr Prem Nazir and his computer.
Bless his poor soul.

2010-07-16T18:09:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry but i had to make a choice.

Other than that this girl is one very happy girl!

1night2days today!
yeay kim jong min

AND AND AND
Koyote is soooo coming back!

2010-07-11T14:54:00.001+08:00

to keep myself happy
i shall write on my blog! yeay!!!!!

i think thanks to the adversities
i have begun to learn to appreciate them more
thank god
oh and i think i also learn how to be grateful
sure things aren't perfect
but as long as i'm happy who cares!

2010-07-10T12:58:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

Thank you. I'm sorry if i ever hurt you.

Shazreen

2010-04-06T20:17:00.002+08:00

huda jiayou!
we love you!
a lot a lot!

we all have faith in you
so come back soon girl!!!!

2010-03-29T22:37:00.002+08:00

sucks man!
im depressed
and i cannot bring myself to impose on those around me
everyone has issues with their own lives
you have no right
no rights
girl!
no rights to bug in on others

and i feel like the worlds' most useless friend
when i realise there isn't ANYTHING i can do
for anyone
sucks eh.

i carn even right whatever i want here
damn

2010-03-23T20:14:00.001+08:00

you take me for granted
i swear

2010-03-19T23:51:00.003+08:00

i am on a rollercoaster i carn get off
its horrible
and i cant even vomit it out
i feel super suffocated

i dont get what is the issue
i bet no one else does either

even if i have faults
you don't judge me with that
i have plus points too
you re being really mean

besides
its not like your prized possession
is like the world's nicest person
the way i see it she and i
she is a lot worse
but of course i could be biased

i feel happy when im out
and since you do too
we shall try to keep it that way

i will try to disappear soon

2010-03-14T16:11:00.001+08:00

you're horrid
im suffering

2010-02-17T21:16:00.002+08:00

no wonder i watch so much dramas
well at least drma endings are all happy

so maybe my story will end happy too

im super tired trying to keep up
please stop it

when i speak up
you claim rudeness
when i keep quiet
you claim arrogance
when i stand up for myself
you decide im self absorbed
when i shut it out
you decide im selfish

still i carn believe
you chose low class
thats a lot more worse than
what adek throws at me
in my own opinion
woah
i wonder what kind of impression i have
what kind of mark i made
in your head
im not even gonna try asking in your heart

sometims i just wanna pack my bags and go
i mean as quoted from you
i am only living in your house because of
you good will and sympathy
its not my house
so don't it claim as home
ouch

so what for 18 years i don't have a place i belong
nice
talk about instant crush

i really hate how you never listen
you never give me an opportunity to tell you things
the way i see it
and the things you assume are horrid
how are you supposed to know my thoughts are like this and like that
when you have never never tried to understand me

i guess it probabaly means you dunno me
for the person that i am

i try to smile and laugh
cos i tell myself
hey forget it
they're a lot older thanyou
and their thoughts tend to work differently

but if i can try to compromise
carn you?

when it comes to say things like house work
you love to go when i was 18
lalala hey u were 18 36 years ago
you have to try and tone it down a little bit
and when it comes to things i wanna do
the kind of 18 year old i wanna be
you treat me like im 8
i tell myself
thts just how she show her concern
lucky you at least she cares

and then you decided to talk to 'a few' people
about your life
and sudenly the whole world thinks im a first class bitch

moral of the story?
dont believe anyone
even worse don't trust anyone

you will just hurt yourself

i mean if your own paretns treat the house that they buy
as their own property where you don't have a stand in
think about what the rest of the world can do to you

oooh food for thought!
how nasty can the world get?
and how nasty can a person get!

hao kong bu!
be sunako!

2010-02-16T22:50:00.001+08:00

thank god i got my t03 dose today
was dying until then!

my sister is horrid
and im burning

2010-01-11T21:17:00.002+08:00

its not very easy so ill be honestly appreciative if you dont try to make it harder. i am barely eighteen years of age and im working in an environment where everyone is at least 6 years older than me. its not easy. honestly. everyday i have to deal with 50 over children. some cry too much, others are too nosy, some are naughty, some are unpleasant, some are irritating and some are downright nasty. i love all my kids, i really do. but taking on all of them at one time is not easy. and my collegues and superiors, their concern and support for me makes me uncomfortable. they have a hell lot of expectations on me and thats real scary. cos shazreen is infamous for being a disappointment whenyou put hope on her.

and than there is still shabs to deal with. she goes crazy, everyone works hard to calm her down than quietly tiptoe around her so she doesnt explode after giving her a 'warning' that if she does shes in trouble. i mean so how is that disciplining her? you're just giving in to all her whims and fancies and not giving her an opportunity to face with a situation where she might act up. you can do that all you want, but don't make me do it with you cos its just not the right thing to do if you ask me. if you want someone to change than you have to remain constant and let her work around it. bleah. and when it does not work out, don't blame me. i mean after all the efforts that it took to make it a teeny tiny bit better, after all that we're back to square one?! for real?! aigoo! your pressure doesnt benefit, it makes me depressed and sad, two feelings i really hate.i hate it when you go, shes like that because you had a role to play. i hate it when you say its cos im selfish and don't recognise my role as an older sister. i hate it when you say its cos i dont help out with heouse. because non of it is true. ive been playing my role as the big sister as best as i can for the past almost 16 years. and she does not return the favour. she treats me shabbily and takes advantage of how much i loved her. its not very nice seriously. she treats me like i owe my life to her and you let her treat me that way. when shes orrid to you and i step in you scream at me. when shes horrid to me and i stand up for myself you scream at me. when i start a fight with er you scream at me and when she tarts the fight you scream at me. you never bther to find out what happened you just shoot at me. it hurts. i worked real hard and i thought you finally understand but apprently you dont

and now you expect me to never get tired. i mean i get that housework i should contribute but u realie how tiring it is to go out andwork especially with kids right. its not easy and i want to at least have time to myself after that. im ok with minor housework like laundry and dishes, i mean i do that everyday you carn deny but major housecleaning carn we leave it to the weekendS?!

and so wat if i watch a lot of korean shows etc. i never forget my other duties and roles so you dont have anything agianst me as quoted form you after you finish all you work i wont disturb you, im not unreasonable. but how come i dont see it?

and it will be nice if yhou try to understand why i dont exactly look happy all the time. i happen to be an eighteen year old who got kicked out of school because she failed one subject by one mark after trying twice. i am also a very young girl who happened to sign a five year contract and seeing that im only 18, itsn ot very easy. i am also workingto pay for my own expenes and school fees because when i first got kicked out of shcool it seems like to you i died.

and i really miss going to school. ok more like i really miss being in a school and i miss t03. and i miss hugging alll my friends when i meet them before assembly.it kinda sucks. ok scrap that it really sucks.

2010-01-10T20:35:00.000+08:00

dont tell me its my fault when you cannot handle it
stop blamng me when things i don't effect go wrong
bluek!

2010-01-10T15:54:00.000+08:00

some things are looking up
other things are not
oh wells

2009-12-27T14:48:00.000+08:00

i guess its true nothing changes than! :D

2009-12-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

im bloody lost
...

2009-12-24T20:36:00.001+08:00

keep telling yourself
when things sucks
sooner or later they will get better
:D

2009-12-18T19:25:00.002+08:00

dear blog
i had missed you!

my life i stupid right now
i am stupid right now
oh wait when was i ever not stupid?

oh man the bloody dishes keep calling me
damn pekcek ready
bluek

you make me frown everyday
i am gonna start getting wrinkles and pimples
at the rate im going
and e3ven worse
you annoy me so much
other people assume im just a
permanent first class bitch
or assume i am annoyed at everyone
they did say one cannot control how they feel
i think at the moment avoiding everyone is my best move
i cannot decide for myself
and im being super undecisive
other people affect my opinions a hell lot
for once i want it to be what i want it to be
not what i let it be because thats what other people want it to be
do i sound retarded?
i guess so
oh wells
being a retard makes me less unhappy

nowadays i wear pajamas in the day time
i step out of my door mostly to go down to the shop
or to hang or unhang the laundry
sad, i know
too bad im not affected
its not anything new anyways

today i felt bad towards kak yati
i had backed out on a promise
but what was i suppose to do?
circumstances or rather the people around me
decide for me
a no means no
try as many times as you want
its still a know
where this is concerned
i also owe jane clara hazirah jennifer yati an apology
im sorry

yesterday weisheng say he going australia
so now my partner is not here for me to annoy
so instead dear blog i tell you
the difference being over here i carn be blunt or too obvious
what if people read and feel hurt
not a nice thing to do
but hey at least its better than not saying anything

yesterday i discovered my phone, which i had used for more than a year
has internet
wow

i still want to go on but now im at a loss
elyn just came back
cos i just got her message

oh well now i should go clear up the dishes
that someone dont want to eat
after making me prepare :(

2009-11-16T22:46:00.001+08:00

dont make it more difficult
please

2009-11-13T13:33:00.000+08:00

facing the real world
scary aint it

2009-11-06T19:22:00.002+08:00

i need an outlet
and it does not help i cannot find it here
im afraid of offending
i dont want to hurt
i fear being mean

oh man
i hate coming across crossroads
i am indecisive and confused
i am naive and maybe a little bit dumb
i ecognise my flaws
still i dnot know how to make it work for me
i am slow and i am a world class klutz

2009-11-03T16:58:00.001+08:00

THANK GOD YOU ARE A PART OF MY LIFE

2009-10-20T23:02:00.001+08:00

ouch! how much you break my heart

2009-10-08T17:35:00.001+08:00

studying gets to me
:(

2009-10-01T23:27:00.002+08:00

its going on and off
so bad i feel like i am going to die
this morning it was so bad i honestly thought
i won't mkae it pass the day
i don't dare to have it checked
what if something is seriously wrong?
i know i won't dare to face it
for now i need to make myself strong
strong enough for promos
after that i will take a back seat
and if i have eough guts
i will face up to this issues
but only after i settle all the other problems
that does not effect only me
so anyways she went crazy again today
dunno what's wrong with her
i swear
urgh
i could do without this hassle really
im tired enough as it is

2009-09-24T22:37:00.000+08:00

im confused abt my future
all over again
it happens everytime
i start to think i am sure this is what i want
then i get confused alll over again
damn it
i have too much options
so suffocating i feel like i have no options

2009-09-24T16:33:00.001+08:00

miss ya! :D

2009-09-17T19:37:00.002+08:00

my first day heels are bloody sexy!
i missed school for two days
sucks!
seems liken shes going crazy eh
haha!
today for no reason
she decided the world is evil
and she is the world's most hurt victim
lol?
oh seems like we got into shooting finals in first position
nice

i like it when you smile

2009-09-13T17:56:00.001+08:00

this is not my story
this is the story of my friend
and lets not name her to maintain her privacy
shall we?

everything's upside down
lets see so she packed her bag
and walked out
oh and who provoked her?
now that is something we have to clarifyer
cos it seems to me like some snivelling bitch
in her damn brain told her to walk away
dat leaves three of them
lets refer to them as A B and C shall we?
so it seems to a and b that its c's fault
and den when dey need help
shes too busy with her school books
and her goddamn homework
and whilst they dont need her
she immersed herself in her korean dramas
now tell me how is that wrong?
watching dramas at night before goingto bed?
oh dear
so c is really tired
shes been going at it the past week
shes tired
dont you get it shes tired
it seems to her like d(oh who earlier on packed her bags)
like d is screwed up
she does nothing accept talk on the phone
and chat online with the
hordes of boyfriends that she keeps in her pocket
than you tell her to stop it and maybe get some studying done
she goes crazy
destroys the household and packs her bag
talk about annoying
so c has to start all over again
after all that effort and study sacrifices she put in the past week
shes back to square one
she wants so much to sit down and cry
doesnt anyone get it?
she does not wish to be a disappointment
especially not a second time
it will hurt too much
she wonders why her heart aches so much
she used to be really strong
nothing, nothing makes her falter
now it getting hard to even keep that smile on her face
(seems to me like hurting pretty badly)
she watches dramas to keep her happy
seeing that at the end happiness comes around
however big the trouble makes her happy
it puts her mind off things
so the other day b said to c
we have signed u to make sure u work dring ur holidays
now c is horrified
she thinks that shes already doing all she can
the weight on her shoulders is more than she can take
she wants someone to take her somewhre she can scream
scream and make it all go away
she misses the feeling of having someone by her side
despite the fact that she maintained
that all this are unnecessary in her life
she finds herself missing it
at least then she has someone to lean on
someone who can make her forget all her troubles
who makes it better just by being there
well seems like she lost all her confidence
all her exuberance
sorry guys, you lost your butterfly, your firefly
i cannot shine anymore
someone said to me if you think you are than you are
and she tinks she is
i tink im pathetic
she cannot stop herself however hard she try
i want to be stronger
cos when i break down everyting breaks
being a pillar is no easy job
not easy not at all easy

there. then end
the story of my friend
she feels better after she let it out
only it would be nicer to say all this to someone who can reply
:(

2009-09-10T17:44:00.000+08:00

damn it! blogger sucks again!
ahaha
life sucks!
baking rocks!
cooking is fun
painting kicks butt!
:D
woops
where does study go in the list?
oh well

2009-09-09T01:49:00.001+08:00

i love shopping!
i really do!!
especially when i am not the one paying for it!
:D
happy happy girl!

2009-09-07T00:31:00.006+08:00

yeay i love uploading photos!!!

SHOOTING PRELIMS
FADZ!

LOVE FOOD BABIES!
RANDOM T03 MOMENT

T03 BREAKFAST

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM

yeah so i am goingto talk about things that make me happy
woah!! long list!!
i love my tedddy bears
and my post its
and my spongebob bolster and my many many bags
(ooh ohh!! i gave away like 30 plus plus bags yest! :D)
and i love my chipmunk cup and soup bowl
and i loveeee my hair bands hair ties hair clips!
cos playing with my hair makes me happy
(oh! i am not being out of point! things i love make me happy!)
i love my taiwanese korean and jap dramas
i love bollywood!
i tink hollywood rocks!
well basically i love television and theatres and everything that comes with it
including popcorn
i love chicken baked rice!
i love pastamania's creamy chicken with languini!
i love school
and i love econs!
i love my shampoo!
:D
and i lvoe my bed!
(oh did i tell you?! my room is home!)
i love boom boom rocking music!
cos i love jumping up and down to it!
i think salsa is beautiful!
and i love doing it!
(it makes me feel good!)
i like looking at photos
OHO!! AND GOSSSIPPPPING MAKES ME HAPPY!
tampines makes me happy!
arcades and food
my stickers make me happy
my posters make me happy
(who cares if they're damn lame!)
my phone makes me happy
and radio makes me happy
i love my shades and my fan
i love ice cream at its best
coke rocks! and so does bandung and soya bean!
I LOVE CHICKEN RICE!! IT MAKES ME SUPPPPERRRRR HAPPY!
(ask maha or ratnam or prem or jas or marcus!)
i love karaoke-ing!
(ahaha!)
i love going out
i love horsing around
i tink getting into trouble is a hell lot of fun
more den uploading photos,
i love taking photos!
(ask anyone!)
i love elyn's house! :D
i love cartoons!
(i tink captain planet rocks!)
i love shopping
i love shoes!
i love buying bags and clothes
i love shoes!!!!
i li=ove charles-n-keith rachel-g mondo dmk
but i love love salvatore ferragamo! (ooh the red bow 4 inch heels!)
(just wait! when i am older i will own at least ten of them!)
i love blogging
it makes me happy
i love reading!
as long as they are not mind stimulating
(i am secretly intelligent you see!)
i love balloons and pink
i love pink balloons
i love my multi coloured pens
and i love my notebooks
im happy when it rains or when the cold wind blows
im happy when i see stars
im happy when there's lightning and thunder
(woah!!) this is a long long long list!

i love t03
i love my ig
i love 4n
i love 2n
i love aries
i love bravo
oh! i miss bubu!!!
i miss my primary school frens!
they make me happy
i love cedar!
im happy in cj!
i love my random friends
i love my gossiping buddies!
i love click five and seven up
i love everyone around us
i love lessons with my class
i love my classmates
clara darren elyn eugene fangqi huda huiwen
jane joyce maha marcus monica nigel quinten
rashi sabby saeful tanjuen weisheng yiusi yzelman
makes me happy and keep lesson intersting!
i love geog lecture!
i love mr ravi's lessons!
i love miss lim and her pe lessons
i love recess
i love kaya and cheese toast
i love the grandstand
i love mcs cikgu yati and everyone in it!
i love npcc and the area!!
i love my fellow CIs
i love all the people around me!
i really do!
i love my cousins who are always there for me
and i love kak izan abang adil kak mas kak syikin kak fida abang mamat kak yaya abang yan cos they're lovely

i think being super ficial is awesome!
yeayness

i am going to the beach tomorrow to drink up
the sea to stop sea levels from rising
:D
i love the basketball court
:D
theres a helll lot more!! :D

2009-09-02T20:27:00.001+08:00

somebody tell me why it hurts so much?

2009-09-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

i had fun today!!!
yeay!
happy purchases
i am broke now!
:D
shit i owe clara koh ten bucks!
haha!
i happy for clara koh!
:D
i happy for shazreen banu!!!
:D
hahahahhahaha
i love my new shoes!!!!
lovely high heels!
:D
woops now i need to go shop for clothes
that looks good with all my new shoes!
:D
yeay!
more shopping!
oh and i can shop for shoes that look good with my new dresses
oh of course!
handbags and slings and totes to carry off the whole look!!
i am definitely hapy
DID I TELL YOU I LOVEEEEE SHOPPING???
damn

hahahaha! i sound like a bimbo!
NICE!
i like!

2009-08-31T20:05:00.000+08:00

i always knew you don't care
but ive finally stop hoping
that some day you will

2009-08-30T21:43:00.000+08:00

damn it!

2009-08-30T14:14:00.000+08:00

love food and babies was nice
shoting was interesting
studying was epic
:D

you hate me
i know!
:D
i wont't return you the favour
i am sorry
i happen to owe my existence to you
:D

2009-08-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

woah
it feels lonely doesnt it?

lessons tomorrow
sad

i finally start studying properly for promos
kambate!
bashyaa!!!

oh did i tell you?
i feel extremely breathless when i am with you
your presence suffocates me
but there is not much i can do now is there?
:( sad

i want so much to tell you to go away
to tell you you're expecting too much
to tell you i give up
to ell you what i want
but you don't listen now do you?
sad

oh wells

live with it

one has to learn to live with it
(i am still ursula)
i still hate woen in love
but i am starting to see how it really is a beautiful piece of writing
yeay mr pang!

population geog is a hell lot to study
and we havent even started on lithospheric processes
or globalisation
urgh
haha!

ms baptist is right
i hould focu on thos im weak at
yeah so i need to improve on my stronger ones
but whats the use of improving if my weak subject at the end of the day
don't make the cut
it won't help
how many As i get if i get even one U
not that i will get many As

if i get one i am thankful!
if i dun get one i will be very angry at myself though
sad

pathetic
thats the word to describe you
you're pathetic
get a life

its not nice
being mean to others
without having tried to be nice
i will stand up for her all the way
so you go get a life

i bet your life story was not very clean either
people make mistakes bitch
get over it move on

oh wells i am sleepy now

2009-08-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

i am 18 today
lalalalala

yesterday night before i sleep
i prayed God will make today lovely
:D

i loved alll my presents!
though almost everything is pink!
hahaha
lovely

i wish that someone would take me for a ride
at three am in the morning
so i can feel the rush of the wind in my face

i wish that i can ride 10 000 roller coaster rides
in one day because i have the whole park to myself

i wish that i get to try bungee jumping
or say sky diving from 10 000 miles above the ground

i wish i can go to the great barrier reef
and watch corals and fishes live

:D

2009-08-21T20:29:00.000+08:00

ok so farewell was rocking!
i cannot put my thoughts in words ever!
haha oh well mario hanif hazmi ridzal!
the four of u haf tortured my mcs life the past two years
im really gonna miss you guys!!!! :D
thank you!

yea so me and weisheng are in trouble
for passing post-its during econs test
i am abit scared cos u noe mrtay soooo haf stgh against me
but oh wells wats done cannot be undone manx!

yeay!
fun-raising cum gathering tmr!!!
i excited! :D :D

2009-08-20T17:10:00.001+08:00

you're insensitive
i swear!
:D

2009-08-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

this is frraking awesome!
again we cannot uload photos!!!
damn sad manx!!!!
ahahahhahah
i need to get rid of this bloody virus i swear!
tralalalalal

2009-08-18T23:58:00.001+08:00

the world is a lovely place
blogger still sucks

2009-08-16T19:28:00.000+08:00

DAMN YOU BITCH

I KNOW YOU WISH I DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH
IN YOUR EVERY WAKING MOMENT

I AM ONLY GOING DOWN WHEN I CAN TAKE YOU WITH ME

well then i think i am a bloody coward
cos i will never never try to take you down
i dont want to see it cause hrt to those who are linked to you and i
it ll hurt too much

damn it
it already does

how i wish i have a bloody remote control
den i can press pause
stop time
take a break
andcry until i feel strong again

gosh woman
what are you?
pathetic?
get a grip
get a bloody grip damn it

breaking down does not make it easier
it doesnt
it doesnt

i want to be a cartoon
you know the bird that can run real fast
road runner
meepmeep
life will be so much easier

sometimes i think its not my damn fault

but then how can that be right

to be treated like a loser
you have to first act like one
right?

right?

2009-08-15T15:05:00.002+08:00

the whole damn world is spinning!
!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D
i want to go swimming!!!

2009-08-15T00:45:00.007+08:00

yeay!!! blogger is back! sexy man!
:D:D:D:D

anyways national day was rocking!well if you dont include the "little" episode with mr tay!
yea so did i tell you how much i love my girls?!
oh and thank you god for my classmates, squadmates and friends!
they are the ones who help pick me up when i fall
*metaphor! - literal and figurative*
when i suck they tell me so i can stop
i am thankful for their assistance
yea so i saw weiwen and haslina and singyee and xingfang last friday
ooh that was 7 days ago
oh oh oh ! we re gna do carwashing to raise funds for our ocip!
exciting ryt!
and my dear fren clara! i excited for u! haf fun!!
she gt an itouch eh! haha
orchard central is pretty!
yeah so im super confused now
i haf no bloody control over my emotions
i am frustrated and ure not helping
yeah things pretty much suck
oh promos are in 60 days
and it doesnt help that i am trying this a second time
bleah!
i damn scared eh!
i like dancing!
did i tell you dat?
anyway salsa is sexy! its beautiful!!!!
hahaha!
i wanna watch kambatqh ishq!
yeah so i had detention just now
and we had to listen to carten sing TWO songs
disregarding the fact that he is tone deaf!
haha
and his lyrics!!!
lol!

putri is fuunnnnyyyyy! i like!
so next week is farewell
but oops!
i am sooo suppose to have double detention! sucks dun u tink?!
:(

oh wellssSSSS!!

oh did i mention how much i like my name>

its SHAZREEN!
no maha! de Z is not silent u annoying wart
who never fail to make me laugh!
oh dat goes to u too mr tjs!!
i can believe he said i duncare!
tsk tsk!

yeah ok so i decided i shall try losing weight!
cos ryt now me and eugene same weight!
i mean hw bloody embarassing is dat?!
hes a damn guy!

hahaha

i think lizards suck
so i so a hellllll lot today
wat the ke piong!

oooh its 1 am i was soooo planning to sleep at 10
oh wells!

i miss aries
:(
these were the group of people who taught me to be who i want to be
i love geting into nonsense with you guys!

cj will never feel like cedar isnt it?
oh well
im making new memories of a different kind in college
thou shalt not compare!
i love toilet brakes!
its full of nonsense!
hahahaha
so today the water bomb didnt hit anyone!
hw sad! hahaahah
syaz!!! 23rd august!
we re still on ryt!
we promised until we re old and snivelling
we re still gna meet on the 23rd of august!

sexy man!

i think mr tay is weird
as in his anal and is totally out of this world
i mean how can anyone's mood swings be so extreme

i attempted to donate blood yest
maha and saeful is ryt
they oso dun wan me!
my blood oso dun wan!
:(
im gna do it next yr!
im gna work out and do pull ups until my veins pop!
out i mean as in pop out get it?
visible!

oh my gosh
i think i am the epitome of lame!
i dsgut myself i swear
*i swera by the moon and the sun and the stars!*
private joke moment! havent been around for sumtym isnt it!

you disappoint me
henceforth i shall not expect anything of you
but how do i do that cos
i would be lying if i say i don't care
about you, about what you think of me,
about your dependence on me,
about how much you care for me

its exorbitant!
i am dying!
trallalalla
from this moment on i have a dream
i am going to chop treesand contribute to global warming
lalalala

2009-08-10T22:00:00.000+08:00

whatever happened to this dumb shit!

2009-08-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

i wanted to abandon this.
oh wells

when my thoughts come out of my brain i feel better
less heavy

cos u haf been a burden to me
i want to cry eh
but i dun haf a strong engh shoulder to ease my burden on

now i understand wat people mean wen dey say that theyre tired of living
i like the colour pink
it feels me with warmth and bliss
haha

i pray to god that whatever the problems
my closest frens are facing, hes set them right soon
cos it seems to me that everyone of my closest frens,
are going through troubled times

i wish i had three wishes

i wish that u will remember im turning 18 soon
i wish u will stop misunderstanding and putting me down
i wish u will realise how much i care for you!
ask anyone i know,
you are always the reason i become depressed!

oh welllssss

fate
must learn to accept

ShazreeN banu yusoff!
bashyaa!

i wish i wish with all my hearts
to still fly with dragins in the land of hearts

im a bit confused
i haf a quesion to ask you
i carn bring myself too

haha

2009-07-15T22:01:00.001+08:00

i feel like dying :(

2009-07-08T23:51:00.002+08:00

we are people suffering from hearbreaking heartwrenching problems

so we went to catch a movie today
hazirah and i

its been so long since de two of us went out together
i hope you'll be ok
cos i know you will be
:D

i vwanted to talk alot but then now i dno wat i can talk abt...

2009-06-18T20:31:00.002+08:00

overwhelmed by this sense of immaturity...

while she may try to hide
behind what seems like a facade of childishness
inside she's scorned to being an adult
the kind of responsibilities she hold
can never be carried by that of a child

she hopes whoever is resposible for this
relishes in the joy of making her suffer,
afraid and never ready to take on the world...
never will she be ready, ever.

where ism y sister?
has anybody seen her?

2009-06-17T16:33:00.004+08:00

i love being part of my family
so what if there are barely no girls
and nothing girly to do

things that ShazreeN did from 4 pm yestyerday to 6 am today

eat kacang phool
slack in front of tv
eat choki choki
cramp in a van
hang ballons
take a walk down east coast beach
cycled
skateboarding
soccer
takraw
volley cum captains cum basketball
karaoke-d
danced
jumped around in bed
watched prawn fishing
bingo lotto-ed
urut mr zameer musa
poker-d
ate
drank
fell on her butt
acted stupid

haha

i had sooo much fun people
haha
and i finally met bhai zameer's girlfren
nice!

haha
mcdonalds with nazir, haikal, naufal, hyder, fadzley was damn entertaining!

and i totally adore my uncle's and aunties
poker wit abang razak, bhaizameer, abang an, nizam, nazir, naufal and fadzley
oh and uncle mohd nor! was HILARIOUS!
haha
sore loser uncle!
and yea man team cjc kicked butt!
haha
and our karaoke session was just as hilarious!
oh my gosh!
haha
the problem with lack of females..
tsk tsk

shabana and fidi mia all the way!
busy on the phone!

abang shameer is stupid!
and real funny!!!
haha

and abang taufiq now drive lorry eh!
haha
too bad you two haf to work and left super early!

OH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAK NANA!
yeay!
i love love love
my cousins!
you gys make me feel beautiful!
1 am today!!! :D:D:D:D:D

2009-06-16T02:00:00.002+08:00

yea ok
so i am not broken
yeaps
super not broken

a little bit crakced
a little bit shaken

but definitely not broken

i wish jas was here
then she can come over and i can cry
and she will make it all better

at least things at homw have not been so bad!
:D

my dad has his operation just now
although it was super minor and everything
and i slept throught it
when i woke up
the first thing that creeped into my head was
SHIT! IS HE OKAY?!
so when my mum called
i felt a relieve

ShazreeN decided that as long as her little sister is not at home
things rock!
hahaha
yea man adek go for more holidays and camps please...

now she is back
we will see how the rest of the holidays go

east coast chalet tomorrow!
i ahve not hang out with my cousins overnight and just sit back
relax in a long time!
bloody excited

damn im broke!
how to poker!!!!
:(

my room underwent a transformation
its superrrrr deee clean now!
hahahaha
the things one does when one is gripped by a feeling of emptiness
(i am ursula! hello)

yea so
now i am confused
superrrr

i am lying to myself!
hahahahahaha

and i am vey happy!
can u tell??
can u can u???!!
hahah

i want to scream eh

haha

oh wells

ShazreeN get a grip of yourself woman!

oh my gosh!
i gained weight!
i sooooo did!
damm depressing can

and woman thanks for telling me
i really appreciate it
if you didnt and of found out you didnt
i will be hurt
two times
:D
the truth does hurts
therefore i am perfectly fine
yeah
ok

damn

i need to lose weight!
i wish i was a tad bit prettier!
hahahaha

2009-06-15T16:51:00.000+08:00

damn

i am angry at myself...